Everybody has good days and bad days. The point of this post is not to lie to you and tell you that if you follow the tips presented in this blog, that you will never have a bad day. It is inevitable, and honestly those days help us appreciate the good ones even more. No, what this post is about is about helping you deal with all of your days, the good ones and the bad ones; because like I said, everyone has both good and bad days...but not everyone knows how to handle them both.
This list will hopefully provide you with the toolkit you need to conquer those not so good days, and to fully appreciate those awesome days! It does not contain anything fancy, or super challenging. You don't need anything but your own brain and determination to complete these tasks either. So, let's reshape those mindsets and dive into it!
1. Practice gratitude
Gratitude is a game changer. When you start focusing on the good in your life, more good begins to appear. This takes active effort. In the beginning, you may feel like you have to find things to be grateful for, but that is just because we live in a society that too often takes things for granted. We end up not truly valuing all of the blessings in our lives, and we see the smallest inconveniences as tragedies.
You see, far too often people think that it has to be something big to be grateful for. Like someone bought you a brand new car, or an all expense paid vacation. While those things are definitely fabulous and you should most definitely express gratitude for them, what about the very big blessings in your day to day lives that come in smaller packaging?
For example, your health. The fact that you get to wake up and live another day. Your family and loved ones. Your job. A day that has your favorite type of weather. Your dog...the list is endless! I try to journal every morning and every evening; and in each of those journal sessions I write down 3 things I am grateful for. I try to make them as specific as possible so that I repeat as little as I can. If you just write that you are grateful for your health every day, you're not practicing as well as you could.
Now gratitude is a two-part equation. The first part is noticing moments in your life that you could be grateful for, the second part is actively appreciating and acknowledging those moments in your life. You will find that the more you practice, the easier it is to find things you are thankful for. And when you start to see the things you are thankful for add up, you will begin to feel a lot happier because you will begin to realize how rich and full of blessings your life really is.
2. When faced with a negative situation or moment look for silver linings and/or lessons
This tip is built off of gratitude. Once you have practiced gratitude for awhile, your mindset is already primed for this next tip. Like I said before, life is going to hand you lemons, so you might as well focus on the fact that even though lemons are sour, you can make some delicious lemonade with them!
Let's take a look at that list I provided in the section above, about daily things you could be grateful for: health, waking up to another day, family and loved ones, your job, favorite weather, your dog. I bring this list back up because I am sure that at least one person who read that list and disagreed with some of the items on here. For that, this tip is the perfect place to focus on how to flip the switch with your mentaily.
For example, health. Let's saying the person reading this is currently battling an illness. So you may think to yourself, "well I can't be grateful for my health because my health isn't doing too hot right now". But what if you flipped the script! Life handed you a lemon, so make some lemonade. What if instead you thought, "I know my health is not at 100 percent right now, but I am so grateful that my body continues to fight everyday to protect me. I am thankful that even on the days where I feel like mentally I can't go on, my body is fighting for me". From there you may feel a newfound sense of hope, and that can encourage you to to take proactive steps to help your body fight the illness even better. Or, let's say this person's current health issue is due to a choice they made. Let's say their diet was very poor and they developed some kind of issue due to that. Although they are now in that situation they can flip the script and now think, "Although this situation may not be ideal, at least I learned ____from it and now I can apply that to my future choices".
You see with those bad moments, or negative situations, you have 3 options:
Wallow in it (sorry, no longer an option we are changing mindsets over here!)
- Allow the current negativity to take over and just become a sitting duck, burying yourself further and further in the rut (soooo not happening anymore)
2. Learn from it
- Realize that although this situation may not be ideal, with that negativity also came a life lesson. And that lesson has now shaped you into a better version of yourself and you can move forward, past this point with your newfound knowledge. You can apply what you have learned so that your future self won't make the same mistakes. You can't change the past, but you can use your past to help inform your future.
3. Flip the script
- Take that positivity power you developed by practicing gratitude and apply it here! This is where you look for silver linings in negative situations, or make lemonade from those lemons! Don't get what I mean? Here are just a few examples of how you could apply it to common, negative situations.
Plans you wanted to do got canceled -----> bummer but now you have all that time to work on the things you've been putting off!
You and your partner broke up -----> indeed a sad thing, but now you have time to focus on yourself and to find someone who will appreciate and value you for who you are; you don't need to waste another second being with the wrong person
You stubbed your toe really hard on the corner of the coffee table for the 16th time this week ----> you have now found the motivation to rearrange the living room furniture like you've been talking about for ages!
You absolutely hate your job -----> at least you are employed so you can support yourself and your loved ones, and maybe now you have the motivation to start looking for a different job
Some of those examples are silly, and some hit a little deeper. They just go to show you that with any situation you can try to find a positive silver lining in there. Even if it is the tiniest silver lining, it can help you feel a lot better about a not so nice situation.
When life hands you lemons, you make that lemonade my friend! When those negative situations come rolling in, you can live with them, learn from them, or change them; and that choice is entirely up to you.
3. Surround yourself with positive minded people
Okay, I lied, for this one you will need more than just your brain...you will need some other peoples' brains to. BUT ONLY IF THEY ARE POSITIVE ONES! You get one life to live, why waste it surrounding yourself with people who are going to bring you down. Life is an uphill battle, constantly moving and progressing, and there are enough challenges in it that are presented to you naturally; don't add the challenge of dealing with negative minded people. Now I am not saying, remove anyone and everyone from your life who isn't sunshines and rainbows 100 percent of the time. No one is. And maybe you could end up helping a friend or loved one grow, the way you are beginning to grow right now!
No, I am talking about the people who don't want to change. Who are so stuck in their ruts and are not only happy there, but happier to bring you down with them. Those people who don't support your dreams, those people who call you crazy, those people who mock you for wanting something different or more from your life. Those are the people that the new you does not have time for. You can be grateful for them, yes you heard me...we are applying those first two steps right?
I am grateful for those who held me back in life (gratitude) because from them I learned how strong I need to and can be. (lesson) They taught me that I shouldn't let anyone have a stronger hold on my life than myself.
I am grateful for those who doubted me (gratitude) because they lit my fire that lead to my success. (silver lining)
Sure, those people were cruel to me, but it is them I feel sorry for. I grew from this, they are stuck in that negative headspace and are too rooted in their ways to grow and flourish, (silver lining) I am thankful that I was able to remove myself from that toxicity (gratitude).
See how it works? It can be applied to just about anything!
Once you are free from those who had a negative hold on you, it leaves you free to find those who will uplift you, inspire you, and support you. Find people who also appreciate the little things. Find people with similar interests, but also welcome those who differ; they may challenge you in all the ways you need! Find those people that spark joy in you and never let them go.
4.Take media and technology breaks
Social media and technology rule our society today. It has so many benefits, but also so many drawbacks, one of the biggest being encouraging negativity. So often negativity spreads like wildfire online. The most recent trending horror story gets shared, reposted, and commented on 1 thousand times per hour (just spitballing numbers here please don't Google it lol)...just perpetuating whatever horrible event happened. Also, people get brave when they are safe behind screens, they say things that they most likely wouldn't say if they had to say it to the person's face. We often forget that there is a real, living, breathing person behind that perfectly curated image online.
Speaking of perfect images, that is a whole other nut to crack. Comparison runs rampid among this generation because all they are exposed to are people's highlight reels. How easy it is to think your life doesn't compare when you see someone jetsetting off to the next tropical island. Or happily engaged and expecting while you are still single and eating hot cheetos on the couch every Friday night (nothing wrong at all with that by the way). We used to never know what anyone else was doing, and now it is all we know.
The internet can be a place of community, friendship and connections. But it can also be a place of comparison, hate, and destruction. You don't want to allow yourself to get so caught up in your screen that you become blind to the life that is right in front of you. Don't spend your whole life making sure your Instagram feed looks perfect, while your real life is in shambles. And don't, please don't compare your real life to someone's social media life, because 99% of the time you are only shown what they want you to see.
A great way to accomplish this is by taking regular breaks. You can determine what a break is for you. Some people get offline for months. For me personally, I schedule time in each day that I do not go on my phone at all. For the first and last hour of the day I am not allowed to go on any social media or on my phone at all. In addition, I usually take Sundays to myself, and limit, if not completely avoid going on my phone. Luckily for me I am also surrounded by people (see the people you surround yourself with matter ) who will call me out if I am spending too much time on my phone, and losing touch with where I am in the present moment.
There is nothing wrong with the digital realm. Nothing wrong with wanting to have a social media and indulge in the internet; but it is a place you want to visit, not live.
5. Do things that bring you joy daily
These things that bring you joy, don't have to be huge things. For example, one thing that really makes me feel happy and alive is the sun. So I try to make sure I schedule time to get outside, even if it is just for 10 minutes on my lunch break. I also really like to read, so I wake up a little early every day so that I have time to read and clear my mind before I start work. I also reallllllyyyy love to eat! And I like to eat good food! So I make sure once a week, for me it's Tuesdays, I take the time to cook a spectacular meal for myself that I know I will love.
And these are just the things I do for myself! There are things I do for others that also bring me joy! I love making my grandfather smile, so I watch old TV shows with him and relive his favorite memories with him whenever I can. I love making my partner feel loved! So I cook little snacks, leave little love notes and call him frequently to remind him of how much I value him. I love spending time with my parents, so I schedule time with them as much as I can. I love fresh air, and my dog loves walks, so we go on 3 walks a day; one long, one medium and one short so that we each get to do something we love!
All of these things, even though small, can add up to a world of difference when you've had a day that has had its fair share of not so great moments. Had a rough day at work, but I know I get to come home and enjoy fresh air with my dog. I know I will have a good meal on the table. I know I can call my family or my boyfriend and get some positive inspiration. Find the things in life that set your soul on fire and chase them.
Do the things you love, and you will end up loving your life. Do them for yourself. Live the life you were meant to live, your way!
Well, there you have it folks! My top 5 tips for rebuilding, reshaping and reviving your mindset! I hope you found value in them, and I hope you get the chance to practice them! Your mind can be your strongest asset, or your greatest hindrance; and the choice is entirely up to you. Which will you choose?
Until next time,
Steph
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