“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it” -unknown
Asking for help….it seems to be a difficult thing to do for so many people. For some reason, throughout the evolution of our society we have deemed asking for help as an act of weakness. There seems to be some general group consensus of “oh you only got where you are today because you had help from this or that….so the accomplishment isn’t really yours”. I mean I literally have a memory from kindergarten, that’s right KINDERGARTEN where my teacher yelled at me in front of the class and gave me an F (yes obviously there is some deeper unpacking to do with that teacher lol) because my mom helped me create my drawing for my class project. That just goes to show you how early on this idea of asking for help being a negative thing is being ingrained in some people.
Well I am here to drop a solid truth bomb on ya….asking for help DOES NOT mean you are weak. It means you are SMART! There is not a single person on this entire planet who has their shit 100 percent together and who can handle every single thing in their life. In fact, the MOST successful people have TEAMS….FREAKING TEAMS of people to accomplish all that they do. Know why? Because they are using their brain!!! Anyone who tells you that what you have accomplished is only as a result of the hands of someone else, let them hate...because 99% of the time those people telling you that you ain't shit, are in a totally different sphere than you. It's the same thing as when you watch a movie and you hated the acting of the lead character. Do you really think Tom Cruise is sitting in his mega million dollar mansion, wiping the tears from his eyes with his stacks of hundred dollar bills because I don't like his acting and could argue that he didn't get there on his own? I'll tell you the answer is a big, fat no. He doesn't care about my opinion, or anyone else's like mine, because we are in two totally different spheres. Now if I was a fellow successful actor/actress, or a big time director, or someone who specializes in something relevant to his field or his success journey then that would be a different story. All of that to say, asking for help is okay. It does not make you weak, and if it is helping propel you towards your goals, do not let the opinions of others muddle your success.
There are various different areas in life that help should be asked for, however, one blog post is not enough to talk about all of them. Like the title says, in this post we are going to be focusing particularly on asking for help when it comes to your success. What's your dream? What's your big goal? What are you working towards? That is what we are asking for help with today. But...how do we do that? Here is a peek at the 5 top tips that will get you started on how to find/ask for help to build your success.
I made this little cheat sheet for you to refer back to when you need to remind yourself of the steps you need to take! And I made it look like handwritten note on a clipboard to remind you that this is not some fancy procedure...this is something you can write down for yourself, and adapt to fit your needs. With that being said, let's dive into each of these tips a little further!
1. Find my inspiration and review it:
Your dream came from somewhere? That goal didn't just appear out of thin air. Where did it come from? Who or what did you see that made you think, wow... I want that. People often have this wrong idea that if the idea already exists then they can't make it there own. To that I ask, how many people do you know that got it perfect on the first try? Right, like 0.01% or something minsecule like that. Just because Jim Bob came up with the idea for something doesn't mean that you can't have that same idea but tweak it to make it unique to you. For example, this very blog that I am writing right now. Do you know how many travel/lifestyle blogs exist in the world right now??? Let's consult Google! Soooooo just travel blogs currently Google roughly estimates that there are 1 BILLION of those babies out in the world TODAY! Also according to Google there are over 1.9 billion websites out there in the world. It could have been so easy to see that and go, "welp...that idea has been done a million times already (literally) so I guess there is no space left for me and I might as well give up". However, I chose to look at it differently.
Wow, there are a lot of people doing this, and a lot of them are quite successful. Let me take a look at the difference between those that are killing it and those that are just existing in the space. I started taking notes of those blogs and websites that were doing very well and started noticing what it was about them that stood out to me and that made me want to follow and support them. I used them as my inspiration. If they could all do it why not me too!? Each of us are different people, with different personalities, and viewpoints. We all just happen to share the love of seeing the world and sharing it with everyone. Instead of letting those who are already succeeding hold me back, I used them as my fuel to propel me forward. I still to this day look at other travel bloggers websites and instagrams and blogs. First to support my fellow community members but also to see what they are doing and to see if I can learn anything from them. A truly successful person never stops learning. So find those people, pages, places or whatever you need that inspires you; check them out, and see what you can learn!
2. Build my Success Team Around Me
As we discussed above, truly successful operations are run by teams of people. Now, when you are just starting out you are not going to have that team full of hundreds of people. BUT, you probably have a ton of people in your inner circle that could help you and you don't even know it. Let me give you an example. I am currently making a career switch from an Elementary School Teacher to an Instructional Designer. I am enrolled in a program online that is getting me certified in this field. Prior to this school I had ZERO knowledge of what an instructional designer was. How did I find out what it was??? A friend of mine, another fellow teacher left the field and found this career path. One night as we were all grabbing drinks together, this came up in a casual conversation and I got the chance to pick her brain and she sent me the link to the class. BOOM support number one! Now I had a member on my team, someone who was a few steps ahead of me, living through an experience I wanted to live through and she continued to help guide me as I progressed through the courses. But, that is just one dream of mine. I also want to be an author. A friend of mine noticed that I enjoyed writing and he connected me with one of the most amazing women I have ever met in my life. We connected over a DM on Instagram, I was given her name and I reached out. Not only is she a successful, published author, but she is also one of the most kind hearted, wonderful people to have ever blessed my life. She is constantly building me up and letting me into her headspace when it comes to writing and making moves. Welcome second member of the team! In addition, I tend to procrastinate...a trait I am actively trying to improve. I do this especially with things that I am uncomfortable with or new to...like implementing new technology for my new career, or posing for photos in front of people for this blog, or actually letting someone read the words I have written down on a page. Insert team member number 3...my boyfriend. Literally the best accountability buddy anyone could ask for. He keeps it honest 100 percent of the time and if my focus is slipping he is there to let me know. If shit needs to get done, and I feel like I just can't go on, he is there with a reality check and a hug.
These are just 3 of my people...there are a buttload more! I am constantly seeking skills and attributes in people that could help propel me towards the life I want, and I hope in turn to offer them something to enrich their lives as well. There is that saying that goes "you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with" and I never realized how true that was until I started chasing my dreams. The closer I get to my dreams, the more my circle changes and it is because I am finding the people who will support and push me. You need to do the same, find out what you need and then find the people who can help you get it. Don't be surprised if some of those people already exist in your circle. Ask questions, seek assistance, and build that team!
3. Learn from the Lives of Others
With billions of people on the planet I guarantee someone is going through or has already lived through what you are going through, or at least something similar. One of the ways that I love to learn from people with similar experiences or goals of mine is through Podcasts. Podcasts offer a more intimate connection with both the person and the materials being given. They usually feel just like a conversation with a friend in their kitchen, and I find them to be so relatable. Look for a Podcast in the field of whatever you are trying to accomplish! I GUARANTEE YOU there will be at least one in that domain. You may think you don't have time to listen to a Podcast, "oh Steph they are all like 40 min long and I just don't have the time for that right now". That's the benefit of Podcasts, all you have to do is listen. I am just asking you to absorb the information, not sit down and annotate everything they say and then write me a 7 page essay on it. Do you workout? Cool listen to it while you do those bicep curls! How about plugging some headphones in and giving it a listen while you're cooking dinner? Or maybe having it play on speaker phone while you are getting squeaky clean in the shower? Got a drive to work? Play that baby while you're stuck in traffic. I used to think I would never be a Podcast listener, I listened to music in every one of those scenarios I listed above because it improved my mood. But you know what improved my mood even more? Accomplishing my goals! And I was able to do that by getting motivated and insight from Podcasts that I listened to! I don't know what you're particular niche is that you are going for but below is one of my FAVORITE podcasts that I think EVERYONE can benefit from regardless of what goal you are trying to accomplish. It is also the perfect Podcast to start off with because his episodes range from 10-20 min long. Short, sweet and insightful. Be sure to check it out! 😁
4. Connect through Stories
Another way that I love to seek help is through books. Let me start off by saying I used to be a strict fantasy only type of reader. Reading was my escape, I didn't want to learn anything about anything. I just wanted to mentally relax. However, upon finding some real gems in the self help section of Barnes and Noble I have since changed my tune. Novels are a great tool to use because you can underline them, take notes in them, connect with the authors and others who have read the novel and most of them give you additional resources or practical tools and tips to implement into your own life. Once you determine the area you want to grow in, go browse some books in that category. Get to know the author of the book, did he or she live through what you hope to ? A lot of times reading these types of books will save you time because you will learn how to avoid the mistakes that others made and you will benefit from the successes they have found. A favorite book of mine that I read, that I think can help anyone out, regardless of your goals is called The Future You Break Through The Fear And Build The Life You Want By David Johnson. In a nutshell this book talks about how to truly visualize your future and how to capitalize on that vision and turn it into a reality. It provides you with real life examples, and tons of tools that can be applicable in your day to day life. I highly recommend.
5.Utilize Free Resources
I think far too often people take for granted all that they have right in front of them. We have so much knowledge at the tip of our fingertips, that I think subconsciously it overwhelms us. The internet is full of information, some good, and some not so good; but if you know how to filter through the BS you can find some very helpful insights online. Another great part of information on the internet? Most of it is FREE! Youtube literally has a video for EVERYTHING! Nine out of ten times when I don't know how to do something I type it in on Youtube and BOOM a video pops up with a step by step guide for me on how to do that thing! It sounds so simple I know, when my boyfriend used to tell me to do it all the time I laughed at him. The pros didn't use Youtube how could they? I bet you 20 bucks they did and still do! It is such a valuable resource, and just one of many! Utilize the things that are free that can help you; you DO NOT have to pay a fortune to get quality content and information that will help you grow.
Another free platform I love is TED TALK. Similar to podcasts in the sense that it is more conversational but let me tell you some of the most inspiring messages I have heard come out of those ted talks, and again they are free. The only thing you need to pay is your time; and it pays off because that time you pay to listen transfers over to skill growth. And that skill growth then turns into fuel for your dreams. And once your dreams take off, there is no stopping you after that!
That's it for today everybody! I hope you found this list beneficial, and I hope you utilize some of, if not all of the tips on here. Your dreams are right there, now you just have to take the steps to reach out and grab them! In later posts I will be posting a more comprehensive list of books, podcasts and ted talks that I found beneficial in case anyone is interested in learning more ! Until then, enjoy your day :)
- Steph
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